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Welcome to Navigating Public Systems - sharing what we've learned

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  • K Offline
    ko55ad8f

    I have been on cahms waiting list for nearly 2 years been to see them once last year and was told my daughter would be on a 2 week wait as she is an "at risk" child, but heard nothing since. My daughter continued to self harm and the battle has been brutal back and forth from school when all they offer her is counselling which isn't helping as the lady in my daughters opinion is very judgemental. Today we went to a whole new level and the school are not very concerned as she has written how she would now take her own life. So now they actually woke up and said yes this is a problem she is a risk (even though I have been telling them this for months) we had to sit down A&E for hours today and was put in an area that I don't even know, have never seen this part of the hospital and it even scared me some of the things we witnessed so I can't imagine how my daughter felt. They brought in Interact (an outside company) who done a mental health assessment on her. I feel like in just 1 day going to A&E i got way more then I have in the last 3 years of battling to get her help. To say our system is broken is an understatement and to be honest I feel physically and mentally drained that I just wanna cry I honestly have no idea what happens next but I hope that it helps. Sorry for the long post its helped to let it all out.

  • S Offline
    Speek Clinical

    Hi Katie,

    Thank you for sharing such a powerful and painful message. We couldn’t agree more with your statement that the system is broken. Families like yours are carrying an enormous burden, and it sounds like yesterday was incredibly stressful - especially after such a long period of not feeling heard or properly supported.

    Sadly, this is something we see and hear about far too often at Speek. Many parents here will recognise that feeling of fighting for help. This is exactly why Speek was set up, because families and young people deserve better, and we want to be part of changing this crisis.

    In terms of the immediate support they gave, Interact is a short-term crisis and assessment support service linked to CAMHS. You can find their details here:
    https://www.nelft.nhs.uk/interact-baking-and-dagenham-camhs/

    When you meet with them, it may help to ask:

    What specific support can you provide to my daughter right now?
    Given how long she has already been waiting, what is the realistic timeline from here?
    How will you support us to manage risk safely at home?
    How will you communicate and coordinate with her school?

    These are all considered best practice questions. As you’ve experienced, what is outlined as best care is not always what families actually receive, but you are absolutely within your rights to ask and push.

    While waiting, is there another member of staff at school (pastoral lead, SENCO, safeguarding lead, school counsellor) who could provide some regular wellbeing support? Instead of the unhelpful one.

    I hope CAMHS are able to step in with more consistent support very soon. In the meantime, we are here with you, whether that’s helping you prepare for meetings, think through next steps, or simply offering space to be heard. Importantly, please don’t forget about yourself in this. If you’re feeling lost, drained, or on the verge of tears, that makes complete sense. Prioritising your own rest and support is not selfish — it’s essential. You are carrying a lot. What can you do this week to help with this? Take a nap, take a bath, go for a coffee and a treat, listen to some peaceful music. Some self-sooth and distress support skills will be really useful here.

    To any parents reading this, are there other parents here who’ve navigated Interact or long CAMHS waits who might be willing to share what helped them?

    You’re not alone here in Speek Ally

    Best wishes,
    Speek Clinical Team

  • D Offline
    db950fb6

    Hi there,
    I'm so sorry to read your experience... when I read it I could relate to everything you said as if I'd written it myself. You might have seen my earlier posts on this thread about my experience. I get how desperate it feels and how lonely.
    The Speek team are so supportive and their advice is amazing. They are proof that although it feels like you are alone, you're not.
    It's horrific that you have to end up in A&E just to be listened to. We have experienced the same thing. In the last few months I have started calling and emailing camhs every time there is an incident of self harm. I dont know if it's coincidence or not but last week when I took my daughter in for a crisis appointment after another incident, they told me I am now number 7 on the list and should be allocated a key worker within the next few weeks! I cried as it was so unexpected...we've waited nearly 2 years to get to this point and I had heard rumours it could be 4 years before we were seen so this seemed like such a huge breakthrough! A week on from our visit and the doubt is creeping back in and I'm wondering if we will get that call or not .... all I can say is it might have helped that I started to be a nuisance, so could be worth a try if you haven't already been doing this. And in the meantime look after yourself. I really hope you and your daughter get the help you deserve ❤️

  • S Offline
    Speek Clinical

    Thank you for sharing that - we completely agree. I also want to gently flag that you are not being a “nuisance”; you are advocating for care that you and your child absolutely deserve. There is a strong evidence base supporting the importance of timely, appropriate support in situations like this. The system is struggling AND you deserve better 🙂

  • K Offline
    ko55ad8f

    Thank you for your reply, as much as it isn't nice to hear other children going through this is nice to have someone know how you feel and the struggles. I got a call from cahms yesterday telling me I would receive a letter for a 5 day check in as we went to a&e a few hours later I get an email with an appointment.... 2nd March 3 weeks later how is that a 5 day check in the system is so over loaded and broken its terrible. I do hope you get that call and are seen soon its so hard as us as parents can only do so much and we are not professionals who know what to do, but you are right speek is such a good support and I am so glad I joined. I spoke to my daughters deputy head last night and we agreed a reduced timetable maybe worth a shot as my daughter is year 11 and with exams looming she gets herself in such a state, its so overwhelming, Let's hope for results for us both and our kids can finally get the support they need ❤️

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